Positive Living Through Daily Journaling and Gratitude

April 12, 2006

To Ask Or Not To Ask – That Is The Success Question “>To Ask Or Not To Ask – That Is The Success Question

To Ask Or Not To Ask – That Is The Success Question
by John Watson

Dreamers often fail to achieve their dreams because they keep second guessing what they are doing. They ask questions like: “Is this a waste of time?” “Will it work?” “Why are the results so poor?” and so on.

As a result, they act half-heartedly and fail to finish what they have planned. They fail to discover whether their planned action would have worked or not. This article takes a look at whether questions are a help or a hindrance.

We often think too much and talk too much and sometimes we talk and ask questions because we are reluctant to act. We may need to copy Tarzan of the Apes. He used words sparingly but was always poised for action whether this meant diving in with a crocodile or facing up to the king of the jungle!

Football teams start questioning the referee when they are failing to win. Instead of working hard and concentrating on the game they spend all their energy complaining and harassing the match officials. Their failure to recover from their losing position is almost certain.

Some people may have given up jogging because of the questions raised when one of the great jogging gurus died young. Why bother to jog when you can die early just like the majority who spend their leisure time watching TV?

No one doubts that many people have fallen ill because of their own actions such as eating too much of the wrong food or because of their inactions such as failing to go for a daily walk or workout.

But some of the fittest men and women have suddenly succumbed to disease and died young. Does this mean that we should give up eating in a healthy way and stop going for daily walks? I think not but some think yes. Why bother to live a healthy lifestyle when you may die young anyway?

When I started the martial arts, after watching the Kung Fu series which featured David Carradine as a Shaolin monk, questioning the teacher was not a good idea.

If you ventured the opinion that a certain move might not work, the teacher would demonstrate how well it worked and guess who they demonstrated on: the student who had had the cheek to question their methods!

A less dictatorial teacher would just laugh at the question and the majority of the class would laugh with him. I was always one of the keenest questioners until I learned the painful lesson that it was wiser to keep my questions to myself.

We need to realize that questions can often be an excuse for not getting on with the hard work of training and that as you train you will learn the answers for yourself without wasting the time of the whole class.

There is much then to be said for taking massive action with maximum effort and keeping any questions for later. You will get much better at whatever you are doing and will find you can answer many of your own questions.

Instead of second guessing your copy writing tutor, try following his or her suggestions and see what happens. Instead of doubting your health adviser just do as they say and see how you feel after a few weeks.

On the other hand, some questions deserve an immediate answer and can lead to new and powerful developments.

In the martial arts world, people started to question whether some of the traditional techniques would work in a street fight situation.

I once asked a world renowned martial artist at a seminar in London why people would choose to put a lock on someone’s arm by lying on their back with one of their legs dangerously close to their opponent’s teeth. He and his associates laughed at my question but neither he nor they answered it.

I have since realized that I was right about the danger of getting bitten when using this lock. In addition, lying on your back in order to put on an arm lock is suicide in a street situation.

Even if you are not bitten in the leg, your arms and legs are tied up controlling your opponent and one of his friends or even a complete stranger could easily kick you in the head. You could also be run over by a car or bus!

Questions like the above and other questions like “Why train for hours to be able to kick someone in the head when it is so much easier to punch them instead?” have lead to the development of reality based self-defense systems which concentrate solely on what will work when you are faced by a psychopath who does not care about rules of engagement or whether you will live or die.

These systems make sense and could save the lives of those who do not have the time or determination to train for years in the more traditional systems. They could also save a lot of wasted time learning and practicing techniques that are impractical for the majority of people.

So then, questions do have value.

We are left with the question whether we should question what we are doing or not? The answer, as is often the case. is to compromise or reach a balance.

Questions have their uses but not when we are supposed to be taking action whether we have planned the action or are following the training of an instructor we respect.

Questions will still pop into our minds like: ‘Is this really necessary?’ ‘Do we have to do this?” Save these questions up until you have completed the suggested actions and then you will be in a good position to have an informed answer.

Ask questions at the start of any project and after it is over or if it goes drastically wrong but, if at all possible, avoid questioning what you are doing while you are still in the process of doing it.

Last week, one of my students told me cheerfully that he had just been offered a job in the Royal Navy which would lead to exceptionally high engineering and diving qualifications. The job was clearing mines.

I hated pouring cold water on his dreams but felt it was my duty to remind him of the potential drawbacks of his proposed career like getting killed or badly injured. One of my teachers had been blinded when disarming a land mine. This had ruined both his life and his family’s.

The time for serious questioning or counting the cost was now before my student signed up and found himself in cold, murky water with sharks nibbling at his flippers whilst he was faced with the terrifying task of disarming a strange mine!

Questioning at the right time has great value but try not to mix it in with your actions. Once action is started, focus on the end result and only stop for questions if things go disastrously wrong. Feeling tired and discouraged is not a good reason to start questioning what you are doing.

If you can’t resist asking the questions early on, at least keep going with your original plan until you receive some kind of an answer.

John Watson is an award winning teacher and 5th degree martial arts instructor. One of his motivational ebooks can be found at http://www.motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php

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April 7, 2006

Small Scoops – Developing Your Inner Coach

Small Scoops – Developing Your Inner Coach
by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

I’m going to talk to you today about developing your own “Inner Coach.” This is the inner part of you that will assist & motivate you throughout the rest of your life……………as long as you call on it.

Achieving a major lifestyle change is like a good old fashioned rope tug. While a piece of rope doesn’t hold much interest for most of us, rock climbers would certainly disagree, as it is their lifeline & yours as well. The rope is an excellent metaphor for the work you are doing here & I’m sure you’ll agree that it does take a lot of personal power to pull lifestyle change permanently into your life.

Part of me has always fantasized about having my own private coach, someone who would tell me exactly what I should do to achieve my goals, motivate me, taking me down the “Goal-den path” to high achievement of some sort. The kind, loving coach was part of a multitude of glorious images, of course always including everything I desired at the end of a rainbow. But…………be careful what you wish for !!!

I got my wish when I was about fifteen. I joined the roller skating club & Phil Pinto was assigned to be my coach. He was nothing I imagined & there were no rainbows, at least not then. His job was to take my focus away from my bruised knees in order to keep me skating when I really wanted to give up & go home. It was years before I really liked him, much less admired him. I don’t think I fully appreciated his attempts at teaching me self-discipline until I was an adult.

DISCUSSION POINT:

Look back into your own lives & bring up memories of POSITIVE role models who helped to form your current self-discipline. Perhaps you have many or perhaps you have few. Even though your mentor may have been “difficult” or “challenging” as Phil was for me, look closely at that individual & decide if they were a powerful influence. Ask yourself IF you were to meet them today……..would you thank them? And, what specifically would you thank them for? This will help you to know who & what was truly valuable. Whenever we remember in this way, we bring the memories forward, as well as “re-etching” the particulars into our subconscious mind. Since we are discussing “past happenings”, do know that we all have/had individuals in our life who simply weren’t well-meaning & it is time to let them go…….. for often these individuals or the memories of these individuals can BLOCK our desire for self-discipline.

Your inner coach will be a composite of the positive characteristics of many individuals who have touched our past, as well as others we might have observed. We do not need to know these individuals personally. Just having admired them & the characteristics they represent make them eligible to be a part of our inner coaching system. It’s important to take time with this part of our work. It took me over three weeks to build my own inner coach & to this very day I keep adding additional characteristics. Keep in mind that each time something new is added or updated, the subconscious mind makes note of this & re-etches. I suggest you keep a section of your journal for building your inner coaching system. This type of journaling opens the mind to locate even more opportunities for self-growth.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, President & Program Designer for Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institute located in Sarasota, FL & online at http://www.hypnosis-audio.com & http://www.sugar-addiction.com She is the author of Sugar….the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It, as well as +350 audio CD’s & mp3’s. The websites include moderated discussion groups, ezines, library & a host of other educational tools for learning Interactive Self-Hypnosis. Visit the online Boot Camp & work directly with the author. Download a free mp3 each month

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March 29, 2006

7 Easy Ways to Teach Your Children to be Grateful for What They Have

7 Easy Ways to Teach Your Children to be Grateful for What They Have by Laurie Meade

Here are some easy ways to incorporate instilling the virtue of gratitude in your children. As you go through your day, show them, the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted.

1. Set the Right Example.

It is better if you teach them by using the appropriate words at the right times yourself. How many parents do you see saying “Thank You” to there two or three year old children. It is through example that kids learn best, and teaching gratitude is no different than anything else in that respect. “Children Learn What They Live!”

2. Teach It Through Role Playing.

You can play games with your children that implement the virtue of gratitude. Play the second chair and practice showing them how it feels to be on the receiving end of an unexpected, “Thank You!”

3. Teach by Showing Them How to Be of Service to Others.

Even simple things such as holding a door for an elderly person, are small ways we can show them how others appreciate us and our actions. It is also a way to put a smile and a lift into a strangers day, which always creates a good feeling within the person who is doing the kind act as well.
You would be surprised how many times a simple gesture like this can occur in your normal day activities, in places like grocery stores, doctors offices, or shopping trips.

4. Make a List.

An easy way to get them to make lists of what they are thankful for is to use “The Daily Gratitude Journal Software” You will find a link to this software in the resource box at the end of this article. There are two versions, one written in “kid language and displaying an output of “kid fonts” and an adult version as well.

5. Teach Gratitude While Going Without Things.

Recently my single family of three kids and myself had to deal with a full 24 hours of no power. This outage caused by a wind storm, was an ideal opportunity for me to teach them what we had to be thankful for that we normally took for granted. Simple things like, lights, heat, and being able to watch Tv, were just a few that quickly came to mind.

6. Show them How to Be Thankful for the Little Things in Life.

As in the previous example, although, most of us would not consider heat and light little things, they are things that are always there for our kids, so they are simple things that they usually don’t pay much attention too.

Other simple examples could include; having food to eat all the time, friends to play with, and having plenty of toys and school supplies. Showing them examples of third world country children who go without these things is a way of teaching them appreciation for what they have, too.

7. Teach them to see the good in someone they don’t like.

You can even use a negative experience to teach them the value of being grateful. When I think of this, immediately what comes to my mind is the Walt Disney movie, “PollyAnna” where she played the “Glad” game and found many things to be grateful for in every situation she encountered. Renting this video, watching and discussing it with them would be a great, gratitude building quality time family activity.

As you go through your day, show them, the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted. Things like the police, who protect us, the firemen who are there for those who need them, and the clerk at the grocery store doing her job to help us get our food. Simple thank you comments to all of these daily activities is the easiest way to role model appreciation that they will learn and emulate.

Learn more about teaching kids the lost virtue of gratitude. Visit: http://www.dailygratitudejournal.com/software4kids.html for more Free Tips on Teaching Kids Gratitude. Join our discussion on the benefits of gratitude journaling by visiting: http://dailygratitudejournal.com/Tips-for-Life-Software-and-Forum/index.php Find more great content articles at http://articles411.com

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